Love in the era of iPhone: smashed 6S leads to questions about modern romance in China

Apple’s iPhone 6S launched in China on Friday. Unfortunately, one brand-new rose gold model didn’t even survive a day before being smashed. The cause? A relationship dispute that literally couldn’t have existed just a few years ago.

The story that has gone viral on China’s web – and it’s hard to know how true this really is – is that on launch day, just after buying an iPhone 6S, a man and his girlfriend got into a loud argument at a coffee shop in Shenzhen. The guy ostensibly was worried about her safety on her trip home from work, and wanted her to install a tracking app so that he could monitor her location at his convenience. She wasn’t amenable, and at some point she got angry enough at his continued existence that she smashed the new rose gold iPhone 6S – which costs upwards of US$800 in China – hard enough to shatter the screen.

In and of itself, it’s a moderately interesting story at best. Creepily overprotective guy fights with his over-privileged bratty girlfriend? This ain’t exactly Romeo and Juliet. But I think the story has gotten so much attention online because it reflects some of the new realities of love and dating that have been introduced by the proliferation of smartphones.

Digital intimacy: where is the line?

On the one hand, there have always been guys who want to keep track of their girlfriends (and vice versa). But even a decade ago, that might have meant calling to “check in” once from a payphone while out with friends for the night or something. Now, everybody has a 24-7, real-time location tracker in their pocket, and your significant other could literally follow your every move – provided you let them onto your phone.

It’s a question that all couples have to struggle with in the digital age: how far into cyberspace does the intimacy go? If you’re dating someone, does that mean it’s OK to flip through the pictures on their phone without asking first? Does that mean it’s OK to take a look at what apps they have installed, or hop onto their WeChat account and see who’s in their circles? Does that mean it’s OK to install a tracker app on their phone so that you always know where they are?

I think almost everyone would consider that last one over the line, crossing from “intimate” into “creepy.” But the less extreme examples – like flipping through photos – might exist in a grayer area.

I don’t have any answers in terms of what is or should be normal, so I put the question to you: where do you draw the line when it comes to these questions of digital intimacy?