So, about that Dark Souls II review…

I am a huge fan of the Souls series. Back in 2009 I paid an extra $30 to import Demon’s Souls from America because it didn’t have a European release date. I completed it, after several weeks of pain and suffering and never felt more elated to finish anything in my life. My university graduation is a close second! Dark Souls was the same, I resisted buying during my final year of university, but once I graduated I played it mercilessly until I moved to China.

Unfortunately the disk did not survive the trip because Air China’s baggage handlers are tougher thanDark Souls’ monsters. My point is this: I am not new to the series and, though I am no pro, I was certainly good enough to complete the first few.

So when Games in Asia asked me if I wanted to review Dark Souls II, I jumped on the opportunity. It may be tough, but a few old-school all day gaming sessions and I’ll be good to go. I mean it can’t be that much harder than the previous titles. Can it?

Yeah, it can.

Dark Souls II is not messing around. The minute you step out of the tutorial arena shit get’s real. Take a right and get ambushed by poisonous green, scythe wielding monsters. Go straight on through the town and meet a giant knight who killed me with a single sweep of his massive sword. If by some miracle you defeat this guy early on, you have his seven brothers to contend with before the end of the area. Even if you go the right way, you suddenly face a swarm of standard goons who attack you as another blasts you with arrows. And this is only the introduction of the game!

Within an hour of playing I had been poisoned, skewered, scorched and pierced in every way possible. My character was reduced from a good looking red bearded man, to shambling zombie with half his original health. You know you have a problem when the bad guys look way sexier than the protagonist.

Hey, sexy zombie!

Turns out I’m a masochist

I must be, because I am loving it. Every death makes me wail with frustration but every victory leaves me jumping for joy. I have searched the areas, looking through every nook and cranny, desperate to find items and weapons that will help me win. I fought tooth and nail with Giant’s, zombies, and corrupt knights. But I always come back and eventually, win.

Must save my souls!

At one point I was flattened into paste by a giant tortoise monster. Now I wear it’s shell as armor. Now,I think “thank you scary turtle monster” every time it’s shell deflects an arrow or saves me from death. Now for a gamer, this game is perfection. This difficulty adds value for your money and it’s a pure and challenging experience. I however have a bigger problem.