17 Chinese tips for escaping bronze in League of Legends

Whether or not you believe in Elo hell, there’s no denying that Bronze is a real place. And in China, like everywhere else, it’s a nightmare of DCs, AFKs, ragers, and people desperate to climb up out of the mud. But how can you do that? A Chinese Duowan user posted this list of tips, which has become popular and has since been shared as news on Netease Games.

Here’s my loose translation—I made a few edits and skipped a few points that didn’t seem helpful:

1. When other people “inquire about your family”, don’t even furrow your brow, you must maintain a strong mind.

2. Always be ready for the 1v9 mentality. You must always believe you’re not fighting alone, but if you can’t do it who will?

3. So-called game knowledge and team cooperation do not exist here. Whoever’s easiest to kill will be killed, and protecting teammates? Don’t even joke about it; people will only do that if they feel like it.

4. In champion select, ignore the teammates who are checking your match history, demanding mid or feed, etc.

5. As far as kills, get them if you can, and get flashes. Always believe in yourself, and keep that I-can-save-the-world mentality.

6. Never use common sense to try to understand your teammates. You may think they’re initiating a teamfight when really they’re trying to 1v1 the tower. Never try to predict what your teammates will do; some of these things cannot be understood by mere mortals like us.

7. Blitzcrank is a must pick or ban. Don’t ask why; that’s all I can say about this mysterious champion.

8. Mid is the easiest lane to carry from, and the best ladder you can use to climb out of bronze.

9. Master Yi, Tryndamere, and Jax are the easiest champs to snowball with, so they’re excellent choices for your climb out of the hole.

10. Believe in miracles. Anything can happen. Your opponents might all DC, or start feeding. I remember one bronze game we were losing 31-10 before four of the opponents disconnected.

11. Don’t become a rager. When your teammates start feeding, open your palms and silently chant this mantra: “Now is the time to show my true skill.”

12. Be like the Buddha, and have a merciful heart. No matter how your teammates feed or rage at you, don’t attack back.

13. Don’t listen to people who say you shouldn’t play ranked on weekends.