Internet Café Chronicles: 7 annoying kinds of internet café staff

In a previous article, I mentioned cybercafé etiquette, but before you can demand something like that from your paying customers, make sure to take a look at how your café is being run and by what kind of people. Before I managed my own shop, I was a customer. Through my experiences as a customer, I met different kinds of gamers. In the same way, I met different kinds of internet café staff. Some were friendly enough, others just ok, but of course, I can’t forget the staff members who found a way to turn our rented gaming hours into a little piece of hell. Take a look at this list and check if you can recognize anyone (or yourself) on it.

1. The bandwidth monster

A cybercafé with the bandwidth monster staff is not the ideal place for you to play online games. They will be the cause of your multiple deaths as well as lost and abandoned games. For some reason, this person thinks the server is the throne of I-can-do-anything when it’s actually supposed to be the throne of do-not-do-anything-except-work-related-stuff. But with that kind of mindset, this staff will proceed to do internet connection-straining activities on the server (or one of the vacant computers) that will make life difficult for the rest of the customers.

These activities include streaming or downloading HD videos, multiple MP3’s, or large torrent files. Whether or not the monster knows the consequences of said activities is something you would have to find out for yourself. Just make sure you can keep yourself from any violent reactions if you find out that the bandwidth monster simply doesn’t care.

2. The super dedicated gamer

The super dedicated gamer staff is someone who probably took this job so he could legitimately game-and-work. We’re not sure if he or she mistook the position for ‘game tester’, but what we’re sure of is that this person is more concerned about his/her game than his/her job.

This person is often at the server playing online games often MMORPG’s and MOBA games. Sometimes, he/she plays LAN games with the customers, too. What makes this not okay is that he/she prioritizes the game over the customers. Not to sound like the overly attached girlfriend, but, hey, I’m paying money for rental and service so can you please give me the attention I have the right to?

3. The eardrum destroyer

This staff plays music so unbearably loud that it qualifies as noise pollution. I have no idea why you think the bass is awesome when it’s the only prominent thing in the music you are trying to play, but that is not the kind of music you are supposed to play in a cyber café. Do you know what headsets are for? People have things they want to listen to aside from whatever it is that’s coming out of your speakers! And I don’t think the headset is serving its purpose when your thumb-thumping horrible excuse for music is piercing through the foam.

4. The clueless

I always believed that if you are going to be a staff for a cybercafé, you would at least have to know how to do the basic things. You are not expected to know as much as Bill Gates, but you are expected to at least know what’s installed in the computer units. How on earth do you not know if you have Microsoft Word on this thing? And why do you not know how to replace my mouse? How did you land this job?