Iwata’s letter is further proof that Nintendo has no idea what it’s doing.

In case you hadn’t noticed, Nintendo is having some serious problems, mostly stemming from the failure of the Wii U.

So it comes as no surprise that the one-time king of gaming wants to regain the confidence of its investors and shareholders. In an ill-fated attempt to accomplish this, Nintendo’s president Satoru Iwata wrote this letter. For those of you with better things to do than read this utterly useless document, here’s a summary: in the past we did cool things, in the future we will focus on quality-of-life products. There’s a lot of rambling around these points, but the basic thread of the letter is “don’t worry guys, we have a plan.”

What is that plan? Quality of life.

What does that mean? Nobody knows.

Iwata-san, tell us your plan!

Quality of life is a delightfully ambiguous phrase; wikipedia gives this definition: “The term quality of life (QOL) references the general well-being of individuals and societies”. That seems like a tall order for Nintendo and I already have some theories about how it intends to accomplish this lofty goal.

Unfortunately Nintendo has given us very little information about its intentions, except for a brief mention of a non-wearable health product. Health certainly falls under the banner of quality of life, but this is not a new idea for Nintendo and it’s certainly not a model to base the future of the company on.

Nintendo has been chasing the health idea for a while now; its first foray into this field was the Wii, a console that promoted active gaming. Then spurred by its success, it released the Wii Fit, a fitness device designed to take the role of a personal trainer. It even had heart monitor in development for a while! Quality of life is not a new avenue for Nintendo, it’s the same health-improving nonsense that the company been touting since 2007!

I’m not saying that there is no potential for health products, and I am sure that with the right set of circumstances Nintendo could recreate its success with the Wii and the Wii Fit. But those circumstances will never be recreated if the consoles are not in people’s homes to begin with. The Wii Fit U was inhibited by the poor sales of the Wii U, and the reason the Wii U didn’t sell had nothing to do with it’s lack of health care products.

What’s worse this letter is missing something very, very key. Something that proves just how out of touch Nintendo is with its fans. Games! Why would a struggling games company write a letter to gain the support of investors without mentioning games? Iwata-san, are you still on the same planet as the rest of us? What Nintendo fans are crying out for is games; it’s the lack of them that’s crippling the Wii U.

As a long-time Nintendo fan, it is getting more and more painful to watch as it slides toward irrelevance. I really hope Nintendo can drag itself out of this downward spiral, but the more Iwata-san talks, the more nervous I get.

(Image sources: Mario reading letter, Satoru Iwata with Wii U and Doctor Mario)