The ultimate gaming challenge: the XCOM Ironman drinking game

My colleague Iain has already recently written about how to cope with scary video game aliens using alcohol, but this morning I had an idea. It’s no secret that I love XCOM, in part thanks to the extreme tactical challenge it can provide. But the ultimate gaming challenge, I think, involves XCOM, ironman mode, and alcohol.

(See: XCOM: Enemy Within review: Earth is doomed and it feels so good)

I’ve got to kick things off with a disclaimer: don’t kill yourself doing this. This game is designed as a challenge of your skills, and the goal is actually not to get drunk, because the drunker you get, the more difficult the game becomes. You can decide for yourself how big a gulp you’d like to take each time you drink, and what exactly it is you’ll be drinking. If you’re new to XCOM or new to drinking or both, I strongly suggest taking small sips of something light.

XCOM Ironman Alcohol Challenge: the basics

Start a new game of XCOM: Enemy Unknown or Enemy Within (Enemy Within is better if you have it, but if not just ignore the drinking game rules that mention Meld, since it doesn’t exist in Enemy Unknown). Be sure that you check off the box for ironman mode (there’s no loading past saves, whatever happens happens) and select either “classic” or “impossible” difficulty. Play through the tutorial mission if you need to, or skip it if you’re an XCOM vet.

Before you start your first mission, you’ll need both drinks and a snack on hand (something small like crackers or pretzels is good). Whenever the rules say to “take a drink”, take a sip or your beverage, and whenever they say to eat a snack, eat a handful of pretzels or a few crackers. (The idea is that the snacks will help you in your struggle to remain sober).

You may only drink or eat during missions, but you must accept any mission opportunities that arise: there’s no ignoring the alien threat allowed. There’s also no stalling allowed, so get your base and squad management done as quickly as reasonably possible and get back into a mission.

Remember: your goal is to get as far into the campaign as possible. The more you drink, the more impaired your judgement will be, and the more impaired your judgement is, the worse you’ll perform. XCOM is not a forgiving game in ironman mode, especially if you chose the impossible difficulty. Good luck!

Drinking rules

Take a drink whenever…

• A new group of aliens is first revealed (except Chryssalids, take two drinks for them)
• One of your soldiers is poisoned by a Thin Man (drink once for each soldier affected)
• One of your soldiers is mind-controlled by an alien
• One of your soldiers takes melee damage from an alien or zombie
• Cover that one of your soldiers is hiding behind gets destroyed
• One of your soldiers misses a shot that had more than an 85% chance to hit.