The n00b of war: why an FPS-hater loves Titanfall

I have a shameful secret. It’s something I have kept close to me all these years, but finally I feel safe to speak out. I hate online FPS games. I hate them. I think the premise is boring, the players are unpleasant to one another and, most importantly, I am not good at them. In Call of Duty I was a bullet magnet and in Halo, I was average at best. Mentioning CounterStrike makes my masculinity shrivel into a walnut of shame. After I moved to China and my awful net connection made me a liability to my team, I quietly and happily stopped playing.

I missed spending time with my buddies online, but other than that I have no regrets because FPS is just not the genre for me. So when I was offered a Titanfall beta code I accepted it, somewhat begrudgingly. And then I actually played Titanfall.

Hello giant robot, will you be as fun as you look?

Wait, this is something new.

Titanfall is not your standard FPS. The pilots’ parkour skills make battles huge and three-dimensional. The game rewards you for thinking outside the box. You can ambush enemy players from above, below or any other variation you can think of. You can leap onto a friendly Titan’s shoulders and ride it to the action or you can race across rooftops like Jason Bourne. Everything is an option.

The perks are well chosen. I play with a shotgun because I am a crap shot. But, with the cloaking device, I can get up close without having to worry about that god damned sniper. Titanfall doesn’t feel like an online shooter, it feels more like Crysis than Call of Duty. Twitchy reflexes are awesome but I don’t have them. Yet for the first time in an online FPS, I didn’t need them, because Titanfall gives you enough options that they are not essential.

And of course, there are the Titans. They are big, scary and powerful but they are also incredibly fragile. A Titan-less pilot can take down a Titan with a few well placed rockets or, if they are willing to rodeo that metal-mutha*. Empty a few clips into a Titan’s brainbox and watch it go nuclear. There is nothing more exhilarating than taking down a Titan with a shotgun and if I can do it, anyone can.

I’m in your mind. And I have a shotgun.

A few hints for fellow n00bs

It took me a while to hit my stride in Titanfall, so let me share a few tips that would have saved me a lot bullet holes and Titan squashings:

1) Use parkour and and stay out of big open spaces.

Being caught out in the open, under the gaze of a steel giant, means death. Titanfall is full of nooks, crannies, windows and tunnels. Use them. Your pilot is a ninja; he can climb, wall-run and double jump. Use these skills to stay out of Titan-sight and to prevent ambush from other players.

2) Do not be afraid of AI mode