How to be a good startup mentor

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“Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.” I personally think this is a little unfair to some of the amazing educators I’ve had throughout my life. But the saying is right in one regard: being great at doing something and being great at teaching it are very different skills.

That doesn’t mean that great mentors have to be born that way, but it does mean that even successful entrepreneurs often have to learn new skills before they can become effective advisors. We have some idea of how to tell if your startup mentor isn’t up to par, but what can mentors do to become better? Experts from Microsoft Accelerator, Kalaari Capital, and women’s career network Sheroes weigh in.

1. Are you meeting your goals?

Get into a position where your work can speak for itself. “A good way to figure out if you’re being a good mentor is to give yourself some sense of goals,” advises Sheroes founder and CEO Sairee Chahal.

If the advisor-advisee duo has been working together for over six months, and the company’s not going anywhere, that’s a sign to take a step back and evaluate everything, including the relationship. She says regular check-ins, like one-hour conversations, can help with meeting those goals.

Sairee recommends remembering that the responsibility on the advisor is greater than on the advisee. If the mentee doesn’t feel challenged, enabled, or positive enough – or if he or she doesn’t feel a sense of honesty in the relationship – the first thing to look at would be the mentor’s own tactics.

2. Keep the relationship flowing

Kalaari Capital managing director Vani Kola sees good mentoring boiling down to three points – listening, advising, and connecting. All three parts are interconnected. For example, good listening may involve hearing out a founder, then asking the right questions to continue his or her train of thought.

“At times, what an entrepreneur seeks is a sounding board,” says Vani. “Articulation goes a long way towards facilitating clarity of thought.”

Meanwhile, advising may mean taking into account that you’re not the only fly in the ear of the person you’re advising. Microsoft Accelerator CEO-in-residence Bala Girisaballa recommends having multiple mentors to help a startup in multiple areas. “A mentor should be cognizant of the fact that the entrepreneur may be receiving contradicting advice from multiple sources,” Vani explains.

3. Stay close, but not too close

The first step to advising someone is to make sure he or she actually wants you there. The second is to make sure that you can actually commit. Bala warns to be mindful of one’s real life commitments and to make sure that they don’t clash. A mentorship takes trust, which needs time to grow and foster.

Also, make sure you aren’t too personally invested in the startup you’re mentoring. “If the startup is close to me because of my personality or another reason, a fruitful mentorship relationship cannot exist,” he warns.

4. Think like a startup

Meet startups where they are. Instead of telling them what you see as their point B, come to point A, and talk them up from there.

5. Give and share