Gamer in Asia: why I hate MOBAS

I am trying so damn hard to figure out League of Legends and Dota 2. I work for a site called Games in Asia, in Asia, which means I must have a working knowledge of the most popular games and game genres in Asia. Unfortunately MOBAs are just something I will never understand.

Over the last few weeks I have spent hours watching Youtube tutorials, reading beginners guides, and asking my exasperated colleagues what the hell a “feeder” is. But I still don’t get it.

That doesn’t mean I don’t understand it. I see the appeal of being part of a team, of crushing your enemies with skill and strategy, but I just don’t find it interesting. I’ve been racking my brains for the last few weeks about why this isn’t clicking with me, and I think I have a few reasons why.

Now before I begin, and for my own personal safety, I just want to clarify one thing. MOBAs are great games. I understand why they are excellent and why they have such a massive following. It’s just that they are not for me.

It’s in the name

I hate sports. I always have and I always will. I never watch the olympics and when my friends watch football, basketball, or (insert your favourite sport here), I read in the corner and wait for the shouting to stop. It took me a long time to realise that my dislike of sports includes esports.

The battles never look this awesome.

In my mind sports bring out both the best, and the worst in people. More often, the worst. My memories of playing sports involve heavy criticism from sports teachers and having a terrible time in cold and wet England. It took me a while to realise that the anger I felt when called a “fucking feeder” was the same when someone accused me of “giving them the ball.” There’s a special place in hell for these people.

How dare he!?

My response at school was to lie and cheat my way out of sports class then take refuge in the library. Online, I have to grin, bear it, and try not to imagine each of my teammates’ slow and grisly deaths.

I don’t like people