Mom, I’m going to be an entrepreneur

“You want to start your own business? Why are you so stupid?” cried Joe’s mother. It was five years ago when I remembered hearing the personal story of an entrepreneur during my pro-bono mentoring days at Angels Gate Advisory (AGA).

Joe (not his real name), was then a recent graduate at a local Singapore university. “But mom, this is really what I want to do. I can make a change in people’s lives with my business,” pleaded Joe.

His mother, who was a saleslady selling traditional medical products for over 25 years, was totally unconvinced. “Change what people’s lives? You have been offered a job by the Ministry of Education to be a teacher. That is an iron rice bowl job! It is stable income. You can pay for your student loans and be assured of getting your future HDB flat. Who would want a man with no financial stability? And where do you think you can obtain any housing loan with no income?” she wailed with intensity of emotions rising.

“You dishonour us with your foolish actions,” sighed Joe’s father, who has been driving a taxi for the longest time. “I have worked so hard all my life to ensure that you get a good education, so that you can get a good job working for the government and take care of us. Are you expecting us to keep working till we die?”

“Dad, I don’t care. This is what I want to do and I am going to do it!” Joe gave the ultimatum. And his father replied, “If you want to pursue this, you are no son of mine and should no longer live here.”

And that was the night where Joe walked out of his home to pursue his dream. He found kind-hearted friends who gave him temporary shelter, until he found a space of his own to live. It was quite heart-wrenching for me to hear his story, but Joe was a determined man who felt that entrepreneurship was his calling. I am relieved to mention that his parents, though still unsupportive of his entrepreneurship career, has since reconciled with Joe.

The Asian tradition of honouring one’s parents

We may all claim that the world is changing, and attitudes towards entrepreneurship is increasingly positive. But when it comes to family support, in particular for traditional Singaporean families, and, to an extent, Asian families, their mindset toward entrepreneurship is still largely negative.

Asian parents, who have toiled hard for many years, used most of their savings to invest in the education of their children, hope to forge a better life for them. Ironically, some of these parents themselves are entrepreneurs in their own right, where they run small-time successful businesses.

They know how difficult it is to run a business, and do not want their children to face these hardships. Rather, they hope for their children to join large corporations or the government for high paying jobs and work-life balance.

They feel that it is a failure on their part when their children do not pursue stable careers. For their children to want to take risks and become businessmen like them, they view it as a persistent cycle of hardship which has yet to be broken.

Significant others wanting stability

Somehow, that mindset also extends to the significant other of the entrepreneur.

I remembered another young entrepreneur who spoke with me in 2014. He co-founded a startup with his long-time buddy, but the bootstrapped startup was not paying him a salary. His girlfriend wanted to get married, and there was the future house to pay for. And in all practicality, he had no income to speak of to contribute his share to the house. It was not easy explaining to his co-founder why he needed to leave the startup and obtain a full-time job instead.

No entrepreneur should be alone

There is a saying that “it takes a village to raise a child.” I would like to extend that saying to “it takes a whole ecosystem, including family and friends, to raise an entrepreneur.” This is why I am highlighting the importance of why an entrepreneur needs the buy-in from his loved ones.

So how does one reveal to their parents and loved ones that they are going to be an entrepreneur?

Conclusion