8 signs you know you are getting old (for a gamer)

I played Diablo III over the past weekend, and my “marathon” confirmed something I’ve long been suspecting. I’m getting too old to game the way I used to.

Are you feeling the same? Here are some warning signs, compiled by a team no longer as young as we used to be.

(Read the article that sparked all of this.)

1. Stretching at intervals is necessary

Or your back will fuse into an amalgamation of sinew, muscle, and bone, and you won’t be able to move after.

That feels exactly how it looks.

2. An all-night gaming marathon

Playing for eight hours through the night used to be such a treat. Now it’s more like torture. Also, the weekends are the only time you can afford to pay off that sleep debt. Don’t squander them.

3. Games are no longer unaffordable

A long time ago, $60 for a brand new game was unthinkable. But $85 for a collector’s edition copy, now? Sure, which of my three credit cards would you like to swipe? A monthly salary can go towards more than rent, utilities and groceries; it can also go towards games. Suck on that, snotty child begging your parents for the latest CoD in a game store. I can buy it for myself.

And I can buy whatever shiny merchandise I want, too!

4. You just worry about whether you’ll have time to play

Unfortunately the reality is that while you can afford a whole bunch of games, you might not have a whole bunch of time to play them. Your work, your parents, your significant other, your kids, your dog/cat/demon fish: all these elements in your life usually conspire to take you away from your PC or console. And when you do get to play?