Taking a fan to a gun fight: the 5 worst weapons in Asian gaming

Asia has created some of the greatest gaming weaponry of all time, from Cloud’s Buster Sword to Bayonetta’s badass hairdo. With the good comes the bad, and for every awe-inspiring Sword of Sparda, there’s something equally useless.

So here it is, Asia’s most useless weapons:

1. Wakka’s Blitzball

You can say a lot of things about Final Fantasy X (FFX) but it was not a game of memorable weapons. Boring weapons can be forgiven, but useless ones cannot, and FFX features not once but twice on this list. Conclusion: Sin’s toxins mess with the the ability to chose weapons.

Say what you will about Blitzball being one hell of a mini-game, but let’s face it: balls belong on the pitch and not on the battlefield. That’s the first reason why Wakka’s choice of an oversized volleyball to defend the world-saving Sin-slayer is bizarre.

And let’s remember that Wakka isn’t even that good at Blitzball, and during his time captaining the Besaid Aurochs, the team never won a single game! So he’s not even that good with the damn thing! What’s makes it worse is that Wakka is the one who gives Tidus his sword, for godsake man use the damn thing yourself!

2. The drill bucket

Say what you will about Dead Rising 2 but it was a game with some seriously imaginative weaponry. After all, this is the game that allowed you to combine a sledgehammer and a fire-axe into the ultimate zombie-masher. That being said, not all imaginative creations are equal and the drill bucket proves that.

(See: The 5 worst things about JRPGs)

The drill bucket is exactly what it sounds like: a bucket with drills sticking out of it. Oh, and it only works by placing it on a zombie-head. Anyone who has played Dead Rising 2 knows when an undead horde is bearing down on you, you don’t have time to give each zombie a lobotomizing hat.

3. Yukiko’s fan