DayZ, the zombie-themed MMO FPS based on last year’s popular mod of the same name, has shambled its way into the record books as one of the most successful early access games of all time. Part of the game’s appeal? It’s open-ended. You’re dropped into a post-apocalyptic world with 50 or so other players and no set goals. Anything can (and does) happen.
You’ll run across all kinds of interesting people in the world of DayZ, but in my experience, they can be broken down into categories pretty easily. Here are the TK types of people you’ll meet in DayZ:
1. The guy who kills you before you even see him. This guy has been playing the same character for weeks straight. He’s got the map basically memorized, and he hangs around near where new players spawn with a high-powered rifle, waiting in the bushes to blow your brains out for your beans. You’ll never see him, but he sees you.
2. The guy who kills you as soon as you see each other. You pop into a church to see if there’s any fresh loot and this guy pops up from behind a pew looking surprised — or at least he would be looking surprised if the characters had realistic facial expressions. You start to offer a friendly greeting, and that’s when he starts shooting. Run all you want; he will hunt you down so that he can loot your corpse once you’ve died.
3. The guy who kills you by accident. This guy is genuinely friendly, but in the heat of battle his trigger finger gets a little heavy. There was a zombie right behind you, you see, and he was aiming for the zombie’s head, not yours. But, uh, bad news, sport: you’re bleeding heavily and he doesn’t have any medical supplies. He makes his sheepish apologies…and then loots your corpse after you’ve died.
4. The guy who kills you by leaving you for dead. Also known as the fair-weather friend. This guy is friendly, but when the shit hits the fan, he is going to roll out. Stuck on a roof and surrounded by zombies? Good luck with that man, he’s got to go eat dinner. Bleeding to death after an encounter with some bandits? Tough luck man; he’s got a bandage but he needs to save it in case he gets hurt later. After you die, if it’s not too dangerous, he will loot your corpse.
5. The guy who pretends to be friendly, kidnaps you, puts you through some medieval gladiatorial trials, and then kills you. This guy has some pretty crazy looking gear, but he pretends to be friendly, and offers you a free bus ride. ‘What’s the harm?’ you think. Fifteen minutes later you’re surrounded by a crowd of machine-gun-weilding bandits who are forcing you to go mano-y-mano with another unlucky survivor using only axes. The loser dies. The winner will be patched up, sent on his way…and then shot in the back of the head. Either way, they’ll loot your corpse.
6. The true friendly. This guy is genuinely looking to make friends and team up with other survivors to take on the world of DayZ as a team. However, you’re so jaded after your encounters with the other people on this list that you decide it’s best not to take any chances. You shoot him and loot his corpse.
So, there you have it! Obviously I’m being a bit facetious here, but the truth is that DayZ is a cold, cold world. The ultimate lesson is that when the end of days comes, the real threat isn’t going to be zombies, it’ll be other people.
(image via PC Gamer)