Video games are fun in part because you get to do things you couldn’t in real life, like cast awesome spells or fly through the air. But what if you could have the powers and skills of your favorite video game character in real life? Who would you choose to be?
Xairylle: Chun Li from the Street Fighter series. Ever since I was a kid, I thought it would be cool to kick a hole through tanks. Literally. Plus how does she manage to do the spinning bird kick? If you don’t call that awesome leg power, I don’t know what to call it. In addition to that, why wouldn’t I want to be able to perform all that and still manage to keep my hair nicely in place? If you’ve experienced having to wear and maintain a hairstyle like Chun Li’s, you will realize that being able to kick other people’s behinds while jumping all over the place without ruining your hair is a very practical ‘skill’.
Iain: Dante from the original Devil May Cry. Honestly I wanted Corvo, but Charlie stole him (see below)! However, Dante is a pretty good second choice, although to be clear; I want cutscene Dante, not in-game Dante. Cutscene Dante can take a sword through the chest and barely miss a beat. He can defy the laws of physics with amazing acrobatic feats of violence. Anyone asking why this would be useful in day to day life has clearly never gotten on a bus in China during rush hour. I assure you that Devil Trigger mode would help me get a seat (although I could also run faster than the bus itself).
Vincent: Cloud from Final Fantasy VII. Being able to carry a big sword like the Buster sword and still be as thin as cloud is one of the skills I’d like to have. I mean, seriously, if you’re the type of person who finds it hard to diet, wouldn’t you want to have the power to destroy rocks or buildings while still maintaining a slender, model-like body frame? I’d like to have what Cloud’s having, except for the selective amnesia and lack of backbone when facing up to the consequences of what he’s done.
Charlie: Corvo from Dishonored. I definitely would not want to live in Corvo’s world, but his powers are pretty boss. He can teleport, possess animals, summon gusts of wind, stop time, and summon swarms of rats to eat his enemies (among other things). The potential applications of these powers are endless. Corvo uses them to sneak around steampunk castles in a decaying, dystopian kingdom, but I would use them to become the world’s greatest soccer player. Sure, I don’t have the foot skills to compete at an elite level, but with Corvo’s powers, I wouldn’t need them. Even Lionel Messi would be powerless to stop me when I could simply freeze time, steal the ball from him, teleport in front of the Barcelona goal and then summon a gust of wind to blow the ball past the keeper.
Plus, if anyone tried to stop me from scoring I could just summon a swarm of rats to attack them. I checked the FIFA rulebook and there’s no rule against doing that.
Mary-Anne: My priest in World of Warcraft. Because dual-spec is awesome; who doesn’t want to be a walking shadow and be able to heal people at the same time? Granted, I do wonder if heals and dispels work the same way IRL they do in game. It’d be super fun to Mind Control people or flay their minds…
My priest also maxed out cooking, or at least he did until Mists of Pandaria rolled around. While he’s just five levels from maxing it out again, I will at least get a huge repertoire of recipes, including the one that never gets old: the Savory Deviate Delight.
Chris: The prince from Prince of Persia. Who hasn’t wanted to manipulate time like in Prince of Persia? Speed up boring situations. Get an infinite amount of redos and never make a permanent mistake. I could try as many pickup lines as needed until I got the reaction I wanted. Or even slow down time so I can clean the house and not have it eat up half my morning. Sounds pretty perfect to me! Plus if I had his moves I’d be parkouring all over Beijing. That would be the coolest!
Who would you be?