Bombing Bastards review: explosive for all the wrong reasons

I’m still laughing about the fact that a game called Bombing Bastards managed to find its way onto Nintendo’s eShop without the need for a name change.

It’s not every day that you see a Japanese platform holder as uptight as Nintendo surprisingly open to such a name.

(See: Thailand has its own Bomberman game in Bombing Bastards, and it’s moving West)

Hudson used to churn out a Bomberman game for every Nintendo console since the beginning of time. The company doesn’t do so anymore. Those of us itching for a dose of bomb-blasting mayhem have this to fall back on.

Developed by Bangkok-based Sanuk Games, Bombing Bastards is for all practical purposes, Bomberman. Everything from the way levels play out to gameplay itself is vintage Bomberman.

But Bomberman isn’t the only game Bastards takes “inspiration” from. From a logo that shares familiarity with Ratchet and Clank to the soundtrack that’s essentially remixes of classical music such as “The Nutcracker”, most of Bombing Bastards is rather derivative.

In case you’ve been living under a Wii U gamepad all these years, the Bomberman series had you navigating a maze and using bombs to blow up obstacles and enemies. Once you successfully bombed all your opponents would you progress. Get in contact with a foe or blow yourself up, you die. Bombing Bastards does exactly the same.

Sadly there are a few things which get in the way of the fun. The pacing is on the slower side. Enemies move sluggishly and if they walk over power-ups, they’re gone forever. The boss battles are pretty cool though. These formidable beasts are set loose on the maze with a host of different moves. The bone-crushing difficulty would be a concern if they impeded your progress; however, you can always get back to them later.

In terms of presentation, Bombing Bastards looks surprisingly cutesy, which is not something you’d expect from a game whose title has a cuss word. Nonetheless, it looks as good on a big screen as it does on the Wii U gamepad. The art-style is solid and there’s no dearth of color either. Always a good thing.

There’s a semblance of a plot too. You’re the Bombing Bastard, a robot created by Dr. Wallow. You’re to bomb every critter in your way across 30-odd levels or so in order to achieve galactic domination for your master. It’s always nice to play as the bad guy and the story does just enough to keep you interested. Pity that Dr. Wallow himself is quite the nuisance what with annoying quips every few moments. Thankfully, you can turn him off.

What’s surprising, though, is the lack of online multiplayer. Sure, it’s nice to jostle with your friends (up to five of you!) in person but having no option to take things online is perplexing.

Amusing name aside, Bombing Bastards has little else going for it. Unless you’re starved for a new entry in the Bomberman series you’d do best to keep your distance from the blast radius.