3 steps to overcoming a losing streak

We all have those days where we’re just not on the top of our games. Maybe you had a long day, and you’re physically or mentally drained. Maybe there’s something else on your mind (or someone, wink wink). Maybe there’s a once-in-a-millennia planetary alignment blocking cosmic rays from imbuing you with otherworldly-powers of total ass-kicking. Whatever the case may be, you suck today. Here’s a helpful three-step guide to overcoming a bad gaming day.

1. Recognize the fact that you suck. Hard.

What comes first is recognizing the fact that today, you are the Mayor of Suckville. You are getting your butt whooped by people you would normally consider noobs, and it seems like you have lost all basic ability to perform even the simplest of maneuvers.

You have to experience that epiphanic moment of true understanding, and come to the realization that you are not on form today. Sure, go ahead and tell yourself that you’re a crappy player just for today, and not every day. Just remember that it’s important to always be honest with yourself. No, I’m not implying anything. Am I?

Personally I like blaming my losses on uncomfortable bowel situations, but feel free to get creative.

2. Stop playing. Now.

Call it a night. Or call it a three in the morning. Tell your friends, I’m sorry, I’m not feeling it today, I’m going to stop playing now. Then ignore them as they beg you to keep playing, and shut it off. Shut it all off.

Why, though? Because it’s actually counter-productive to play while not on form. When your brain has turned into the kind of artificial starchy potato goop they use in KFC’s “mashed potatoes”, you tend to run on muscle memory and instinct instead. And we all know that the only thing that separates homosapiens from beasts is our ability to deny our instincts, to process information before making the best possible decision.

Long-term playing on muscle memory and instinct reinforces those bad instincts, and makes you an even more predictable player. And if you’re like me and you’re constantly playing games against the same group of rivals, they will learn to read those instinctive moves, which makes it even easier for them to counter all of your half-baked techniques.

I know it’s hard to stop—especially when your ego is screaming out that you want to win, that you’re better than this. The good news is, you probably are. But it’s so much harder to stop playing when you’re losing than when you are winning, isn’t it? Still, you owe it to yourself to put an end to the embarrassing display and mount a strategic retreat.

Remember, every time you lose, someone else wins. You don’t want to be an accomplice to a guy getting a Guiness World Record for having the longest winning streak.

3. There is no step three.

You stopped playing. It’s over. This guide assumes that you’re normally a winner and you’re simply having a Daniel Powter bad day, so there’s no need to reflect on what you did wrong, because you’re actually already awesome. Probably.