When I was younger, I hated criticisms that were directed at my business or ideas. I always felt it was like an insult. That thinking plagued me for years. But I also learned that people who are critical are often the best people to hang out with for entrepreneurs. Here’s the story.
When I was selling grasshoppers at age 10, a friend told me that grasshoppers can be categorized into different types — red legged, blue legged, with/without wings — and sold at different prices. To me, that felt more like a criticism or insult than feedback. I was obviously young, egoistic, and arrogant. But eventually I did categorize and sell them at different prices. It was a success.
When I was running an online tuition agency, we wanted to work with one of the bookstores on a partnership deal. Our traffic was miserable but nonetheless, we managed to meet up with one of the major bookstores in Singapore. That was back in 2005. She laughed at our traffic and saw no reasons to work with us. She was right. My partner and I worked to improve our traffic (which we would have done anyway) but also hated her for being so mean. As arrogant youngsters, we walked away without saying goodbye. It was bad and unprofessional.
When I was in college working on group projects, I always thought my ideas were the best. In some sense, that might have been true, because my group always managed to get ‘A’. But reflecting back, I realized that I wasn’t a person that was very easy to work with. I would talk down others’ ideas and even brand them as stupid or GPA-grabbers. And for people who gave their feedback on my ideas, I was very critical and insisted that my ideas was right.
Perhaps I matured along the way. Over the last two years, I have started to understand the beauty of listening to feedback and advice. Some advice is still crappy though. But I’ve learned to think from the other person’s point of view. No one is right for sure. So filtering advice is important, especially in Asia, where culture compels people to say nice things about others. The ‘truth’ is often unspoken.
I learn that if you want the best feedback — particularly in Asia — you need to ask or even force your friends or mentors to say nasty things about your startup. You need to make them feel that you’re cool with them giving you feedback or even criticizing your business.
Often, I realized that people who are mean are the best people to listen to. And I collect them along the way and keep them in my brainstorming group because these are the people who I can trust to give me honest feedback. They may be mean but they are also people who give a shit about your startup. So shower them with love and get them to criticize your startup often — it is like a free can of Redbull that keeps you sharp and on your toes.
Our new startup Reqvu for iOS is in its early stages… ripe for a lot of criticism. I can tell you It’s also very hard when you know the faults of your own product that you are working hard to fix but your existing users still have to suffer through. But definitely getting criticism is valuable and … painful
IT is NOT entirely true in this modern age. Some people want you dead and never be their competitor. They say their are customer and customer is always right. You turn around the table and you are a customer, would say the things that the mean people will say?? I have been in your situations, people from this country are not accustome to say nice things, in fact, the young, the Professional and the VC, they say things that cut deeper than knife. So, please dont dream.
Excellent post. But it’s not only in Asia where people don’t tell you what they really think about your startup, its business model and its prospects. This happens all the time in Silicon Valley. There’s so much pressure to be “positive”. I like to be brutally honest when people pitch our VC fund for money because if I think it’s terrible to encourage people to waste their time and money.
I think all entrepreneurs have a natural aversion towards criticism of their startups. Your startup is your baby. Imagine someone saying your baby is ugly. Entrepreneurs should understand that emotions, especially strong emotions like anger and fear, are not best indicators for the type of actions they need to take. Most people let emotions carry them away. Calm down first, think carefully, then act.
“I like to be brutally honest when people pitch our VC fund for money because if I think it’s terrible to encourage people to waste their time and money. ”
So, when VC make a mistake in investment, do they find other job or blame it on other? If VC dont have a network, do the young professional join the VC firms will act so so arrogantly? Do young VC professional know much about the Money and banking system well enough? the list goes on.
Hurting words dont encourage people. Handle people with care will goes a long way. Nothing is a waste beacuse it needs some fine tunning. Steve Jobs had been removed from office by some smart office politician. If he was not determined, we wont get iphone. This happened only after more than 10 years of hard work.
trust your instinct. it is a skill to listen with intent and filter
We are 24/7 serving the Founder Institute Bluntness….
A superb post. I would add two things: criticism doesn’t always have to be harsh or blunt AND you should learn to be constructively self-critical, challenging your own assumptions and constantly being ready to change/adjust/pivot if you find you are on the wrong path. Also remember that people can be critical for a range of sometimes stupid reasons that have nothing to do with the merits of your idea or execution.